Your Beliefs, Your Story.
Beliefs aren’t just about some monumental task or event that faces you.
Everything you say, do and think reflects your beliefs at a conscious and unconscious level. They can both limit you and boost you forward.
You will largely become what you believe you will become by largely doing what you believe you can do or, and this is massive, what you believe you can do if you stick at it. We live our lives within the story we narrate to ourselves, and this story will more or less bear no resemblance to how other people see things.
Beliefs, actions and emotions are all interlinked.
Your beliefs form the basis of, and drive, the story you tell yourself. So, to change how you behave, you just have to change the story you live your life by. Well, that’s easy enough. What could possibly go wrong?
Quite a lot, actually.
The problem is that our beliefs often operate quietly in the background. You don't necessarily walk around thinking, “I believe I am rubbish at presentations.” Instead, you might find reasons not to volunteer, put off preparing, become nervous when your name is called and then interpret the resulting performance as proof that you were right all along.
The belief creates the behaviour, the behaviour creates the result, and the result appears to confirm the belief.
It happens in business all the time.
Someone believes they aren't particularly good at dealing with difficult people. They avoid difficult conversations whenever possible. When they finally have one, they are uncomfortable, overthink what they are going to say and perhaps become defensive. The conversation goes badly. Their conclusion? “See. I told you I wasn't good at difficult conversations.”
Or take someone who believes they aren't ready for the next step in their career. They don't put themselves forward for opportunities because they don't feel qualified enough. Someone else gets the promotion. The conclusion becomes, “I'm just not the sort of person who gets those opportunities.”
There is nothing mystical going on here. They haven't attracted failure from the universe. They have behaved in a way that made one particular outcome more likely.
The same thing happens in everyday life.
You might believe you are “just not a morning person”, so you go to bed late, sleep badly, dread the alarm and start the day feeling exhausted. Or you might believe you are hopeless with money, so you avoid looking at your finances because you don't want to confirm what you already believe. Which, rather conveniently, means you never find out whether you could actually become better with money.
You might believe you're no good at meeting new people, so you stay quiet at social events. You then meet fewer people, have fewer conversations and get less practice at doing something you already believe you're bad at.
It's a remarkably efficient system for proving yourself right.
This is where manifestation enters the discussion.
Manifestation is the practice of focusing your thoughts, beliefs and emotions on a desired outcome to bring it into reality. While popularised by ideas like the “law of attraction”, there is no scientific evidence that thoughts alone possess the magical ability to manipulate the universe or physically alter objects.
Or, to put it in everyday speech: I don't care how much you think about it, it will not help you win the lottery. Even if you do buy a ticket.
There is, however, something useful buried underneath all the mystical language.
If you repeatedly focus on an outcome, you may become more aware of opportunities related to it. You may pay more attention. You may make different decisions. You may become more willing to practise. You may behave differently when the opportunity arrives.
That can make a difference.
Imagine someone who wants to start their own business. Visualising themselves running a successful company isn't going to make customers appear through the bedroom wall. But if thinking about that goal makes them start researching the market, speak to potential customers, improve their skills, build a website and actually make the first sales call, then the thinking has become useful.
The result comes from what the thinking causes them to do.
The same applies in business. If you want to become a better leader, imagining yourself confidently leading a team might help you develop a clearer picture of how you want to behave. But the useful bit comes afterwards. Having the difficult conversation. Listening properly. Asking better questions. Giving feedback. Admitting when you've got something wrong. Doing it again next week.
Thinking about being a better leader doesn't make you one.
Practising being a better leader gives you a chance.
While doing background reading for this article, I came across some very, let's call them interesting, quotes interpreting scientific studies to support a very special way of focused thought that can shortcut your route to achieving anything you want.
Indeed, one piece said that the individual could use this “super visualisation process as used by athletes and special forces” to get you what you want. No effort required. As someone who has worked with athletes, I have to say I can now see where I was going wrong.
You don't have to put in hours, weeks, months and years of training. Missing out on all the stuff your mates are doing. Missing out on important moments with family and friends. You don't have to suffer the relentless grind and hard work. The injuries, the failures and disappointments.
You just stay in bed and think about it.
Think about it a lot in a special way. In fact, in a way so special that only they could teach you with their course and new book.
What a relief.
A good example of how visualisation can and does work is when I work with golfers.
Look, I play golf. Badly. I go for the company, the laugh and a couple of beers after the round. There is no one on this planet who would ever take any form of technical tips on golf from me.
So why do I work with them and them work with me?
The biggest issues these golfers face are making poor decisions under pressure and poor execution of skills they already possess. It's not that they can't do it. It's that they put up a mental block when called to perform under pressure.
To break into golf speak for a moment: if you can't use a wedge off a tight lie, I'm not the bloke to speak to. Just about every golf club has PGA professional trainers who can give you the skills and help you improve.
But if you used to be OK and now, after thinning a wedge that airmailed the 18th green in fount of a packed club balcony, you start to shake at the idea of using your wedge, that's a different problem.
The technical skill may still be there. The golfer's relationship with the shot has changed.
This is where visualisation can be useful.
Rather than pretending that the ball is magically going to fly exactly where you want it to because you've thought about it sufficiently hard, we can rehearse the process. See the situation. Imagine the pressure. Notice the thoughts and feelings that turn up. Rehearse making the decision. Rehearse committing to the shot. Rehearse dealing with the outcome.
The purpose isn't to control the universe.
It's to prepare the mind for what is about to happen.
And this isn't restricted to sport.
A business professional who becomes anxious before presentations can mentally rehearse walking into the room, settling themselves, speaking clearly, dealing with a difficult question and continuing when something doesn't go perfectly.
Someone preparing for an important interview can rehearse the situation rather than simply hoping they will feel confident on the day.
Someone who avoids difficult conversations can mentally practise staying calm, listening and saying what actually needs to be said.
Someone trying to change a habit can rehearse what they will do when the usual trigger appears rather than relying entirely on willpower in the moment.
None of this guarantees the outcome.
That's rather the point.
Good mental preparation doesn't promise that everything will go your way. It prepares you to respond better when it doesn't.
And that distinction matters.
You cannot think your way into becoming a successful business owner, elite athlete, brilliant public speaker or emotionally balanced human being while doing absolutely nothing.
You can, however, change what you believe is possible, rehearse how you want to respond and then give yourself a much better chance of acting differently when it matters.
Your beliefs influence your behaviour.
Your behaviour influences your results.
And your results can then influence your beliefs.
That's the bit worth paying attention to.
Because changing the story you tell yourself isn't the whole job.
It's the start of changing what you do.
If this feels like something I could help you with, then get in touch.
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